Kinder World

Left: Judith; Right: Lizeth

Our girls are amazing, fun, smart and cute!  We plan to share what they are learning (yes, shamelessly bragging) and how.  We want to show how we do what we do, and what has worked for us in the hopes that it will help others.  Our kids tend to run ahead of the game socially and academically, and we’d like to share some ideas as to how you can get some of the same results.  Some of what they have comes naturally, but some of it does indeed come from training.  Do we do it perfectly?  Not at all!  However, our girls are doing great, and we’d like to help them do better.  This is another step for them.  Our family is dedicated to helping others, and this is one way to help them get excited about what they’re learning, and for them to help other little ones do great as well.  Join us on our journey and we will share our ups and downs, and we’ll look forward to hearing YOUR success stories also!

….feel like they want to pull their hair out? I mean, really, does it HAVE to take a whole day to pick up some toys????
Well, I used it as a teaching tool. We talked about how most adults get paid, that is, hourly. We talked about what is required of adults. We talked about “time theft” and how it’s a sign of bad character. They ALMOST seemed to understand. So, I sent them to finish picking up their toys. I’d like to say it worked. lol
So, I pulled them in for another talk. I showed them what I’d done for the day. I fixed 2 blogs, created a video, set up 5 eBay listings complete with HTML, study 8 sections in an online study program I’m in, and sorted about 100 photos for my online business. Yeah, that’s all. I asked them if they thought they could do all that in the amount of time I took. They looked stunned.
So, now FINALLY I think I got the point across. I spend quite a bit of time doing what I do. I do it well, and I try not to waste a second. I only hope my children can see my work and emulate it some day. With God’s help, they will.

Twice this week, and many times in the recent past, I have been in a situation where I have had the opportunity to speak with older men who are nearing the end of their lives. I find it touching to hear what is important to them, and I’m glad I was able to take the time to listen to them.
Really, I’m not writing so much about what was said as much as how it impacted me. These gentlemen looked back on their lives and one thing mattered: their relationships.
The one gentleman, only a couple of years younger than my grandfather, talked about his father, long gone now. He spoke of the pain of losing him to Alzheimer’s. All I could do is be kind, listen, and fix his glasses, and empathize with his pain and share my own. Today, he stopped in to see me. He felt it was important to share with me that a particular medication had been helping him to stave off the effects of Alzheimer’s that had now taken hold of himself, and offered this information to me. What did he have to give me? He hoped a way to have my grandpa with me longer. I thanked him, told him that it meant a lot to me that he wanted to share that, but that unfortunately it’s too late for the drug to help him. The world intruded, and work had to continue, so I thanked him with a warm squeeze of my hand on his arm giving him a human contact he probably doesn’t get too often. Part of me wished the drug would work just to be able to tell this sweet old gentleman that I would try it, but I couldn’t bring myself to lie. I just shared a moment of kindness with him. He’s still with me, even now.
The other older fellow had crooked glasses and sweet eyes. He had the look of one who is perpetually on the edge of tender tears. I fixed and cleaned his glasses (oh, how the sweet old ones love clean glasses!) and he told me about his wife. She has been dead for 6 years, almost to the day. He said he loved her so much, and they almost never fought. What he remembers is a beautiful, witty woman who he had a tremendous amount of fun with. He also saw a woman who had been hurt. He loved her so deeply and his joy in his memories were so great it made me want to run home and hug my family. He told me, right before the phone beckoned me, that his first thought in the morning was of her, and his last as he goes to sleep is her. It moved me in a way words can’t express.
When I am a little old woman looking for someone to straighten my glasses, what will I share? Will I move slow enough to force the world to pause? Will I make the young ones around me treasure their beloveds a little more? Will I have a sweet anecdote of the children I’ve raised, or a funny, scandalous story so I can show my hidden wisdom that I keep only for those closest to me? Will the Lord see fit to let me reap some of the attention I’ve sown to pass this hidden wisdom down to the next ones?
I can only hope so. I hope to raise my babies to appreciate our elders enough to have that there for me when I reach that point. I want to live the now with an eye towards “then”, with stories to tell and wisdom to share.
Maybe someday I can help a busy mom on the edge of burn-out to regroup, slow down, and enjoy the moment more. And bring it into perspective for her.
Thanks, Daddy! I needed Your hug today.

I was sitting in church, feeling challenged by the message, and I felt a stirring in my heart. I began to look around me.
I looked across the aisle towards the front. There, taking up nearly three rows, was a family represented in 4 different generations. This family had all sizes, shapes and colors. As I watched, the father if the family, a middle-aged, strong, meek man put his arm around an older man, I presume his father. I was touched by the gentle tenderness he showed.
I continued to watch this lovely family. Two sisters, the taller, more robust of the two actually being the younger, seemed to be a little cold. She draped a thin little shirt over her legs (she was wearing shorts). Her older sister began teasing her, draping every sweater and jacket within reach over her legs. It was a tableau only of seconds, but the teasing love between them was clear.
Another sister, older than the two of them, sat next to her young man, who was obviously accepted and loved by this family. They sat, his arm around her, listening attentively to the message, clearly wanting to live the ideals they were learning about.
The oldest sister was in front of the group next to her much larger yet younger brother. She was cuddling her sweet faced baby girl, a beautiful baby with milk-chocolate skin and glossy black curls. She snuggled her impatient baby, who simply wanted to enjoy the company of her family and toys in the boisterous fashion she was accustomed to. She let out one squawk too many, and her grandmother, a woman with strong arms, sure step, and rosy cheeks, swooped in to the rescue, giving her daughter a chance to relax and enjoy a message that would encourage her to keep living the ideals she and her husband had chosen.
A lovely family, representing nations.
Were they the only ones who caught my wandering eye? No, there were many surprises there to be seen.
I watched a brother and sister having a “thumb war” until mom broke it up and hugged her son.
I saw a father of four sitting with his loving arm around his teenage son.
I saw a young couple holding hands and listening with attention.
I saw an older couple, comfortable without the need to touch, with an occasional comment or observation quietly whispered between them.
What makes these simple gestures remarkable? Only that they are rare.
In any public place, a movie or restaurant, maybe a store, brothers and sisters are fighting, teenagers are embarrassed by their parents attempts at affection, elders are ignored or mocked. When young people choose a mate from another race, it’s often out of rebellion or a desire to hurt the family. These simple expressions were of unity, beautiful in it’s simplicity and brevity, but clearly not unique expressions. There was no tension or attempt to “make it up” in front of others. These were clearly common occurrences from everyday life.
As I meditate on what I saw, I know that I want that same comfort for my family. I want the unity and love we feel at home to be obvious to all in everyday life. I want my preteen daughter to enjoy holding her father’s hand, and I hope my son still lets me hug him when he is a teen. I have chosen to fight for these things in the face of a society that wants to tell my family that parents are clueless, incompetent and intolerant, fathers are stupid, moms are pushy, and kids are rude. I want my family to show that sibling rivalry is not always an ugly, brutal thing, that we can compete in a healthy way and enjoy each others successes, and feel sympathy for each others failures. I want respect for the older generations to be the norm for my family, and that even though an older person may seem slow or snarly, we will respect them and befriend them. I want my family to appreciate those who have mental or emotional disabilities and see the simple things that move them with new eyes, and know the world they live in.
I want an “other person” world view. In short, I want to treat others as I would like to be treated – without the expectation that they will. And my husband and I will raise our children so.

I was thinking this morning about a family I know. Last night I saw a commercial where a mother was wondering whether or not her daughter still thinks boys are “icky”. Funny, now and then I ask my oldest daughter and my son that question. I still get a positive answer, and that’s normal, at least for their ages. It seems to me a pretty good way to gauge where they are in the way of innocence. I watch, I’m vigilant, and I take very seriously the admonishment made in the Song of Solomon: “Don’t wake love until it’s ready.” If there is one thing that’s hard to guard against in this society, that’s it.
Now, this family I mentioned, somehow they did it. And you know the weirdest part? They are NOT a normal family. Let me explain what I mean.
Like our family, there are three girls and one boy. The order is a little different, but both families start and end with girls. Dad is dad, and mom is mom, and their authority isn’t questioned. Dad puts his foot down, and the kids listen. Mom manages the schedules and activities for all of them, perhaps not with ease, but well-oiled practice.The girls are feminine, pretty girls who like being and dressing pretty, and the boy is all boy, right down to the bruises. My husband and I have watched them as they’ve grown. We’ve seen them pass through awkward phases, fighting within themselves to find their place and individuality. Now when we look at them, the two oldest girls are young ladies, not too far from finding worthy young men of their own to be a lifetime with (yes, girls, give it a little more time, but for us that time is short – we are old ).
Watching them has been educational for us. We’ve seen how they behave, individually and together. We watch our kids, and we hope for those same signs of innocence prevailing in them as we have with this beautiful family. They are not a quiet family, their children are not the most mild mannered, nor the most discreet. They know manners and how to behave, but these things are afterthoughts more often for them. What really shines through is the genuine affection they have, for each other and others. They LIVE love. They are bound together with it. Beyond the family bickering and sibling rivalry, there is love. And respect. The respect that shows through in these young people makes clear the strength of character they’ve been raised with.
Is this family perfect? Of course not, but they give a great benchmark to measure your own child’s character by. I don’t wonder that the girls have heard their mother ask something like “do you still think boys are icky” at different times. I’m sure the son probably hears dad ask, “Do girls still have cooties – well, the ones who aren’t your sisters, anyway.”
Sadly, we don’t see that too often. More frequently, parents have to tell their ten-year-old daughters to pull down their shirts, and pull up their pants. It’s normal for young boys to surf the net for porn and have dirty magazines under their mattresses. Girls, younger and younger, are learning to emulate the appearance and behavior of the popular stars of the time who wear little clothing and writhe around on stage as if they were animals on the prowl. Parents avoid the deeper discussions, and would rather leave it to the school system to decide what and when to tell kids about their sexuality. It’s sad. So, so sad. Something so precious left to total strangers.
I worked in a public school for a short time. I saw some of the things 10-year-old’s are capable of, and it horrifies me. I’m not talking about simple teasing and bullying. I mean sexual harassment and assault worthy of police intervention. I’ve seen frustrated teachers and administrators throw up their hands in frustration at the lack of cooperation or even interest from parents. It was heartbreaking.
How has this family defeated this? This isn’t the only family I know that has managed it, but it is one we are fairly close to, and I can tell you that part of it is the affection the parents have for each other. It’s sweet to watch. They aren’t mushy, but they clearly are stuck on each other although they are very different. I don’t doubt that they are quite capable of “mushy”, and that they actually use “mushy” to get “ew! gross!” to come out of their kids mouths. That’s just the way this family is.
I can also tell you that dad shows his love and affection to ALL his kids. He is not shy about it, nor is he shy about reminding them whose boss. Now, he’s an affectionate guy by nature, but his behavior is easy enough to emulate. I would bet good money that between the high moral standard they have raised them with and the high level of affection they show them, the parents of these kids have very purposely taught their kids exactly what to expect in a close family, and have left no room to doubt that it is possible. I strive for that in my family.
Is this a “normal” family? By no means. But I bet you it’s awfully close to what God wants “normal” to be.

I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine that made this very clear to me. I’m not even sure how it came about that I said it, but I told her that I feel, as a Christian, it is my responsibility to raise my children like God raised His. That’s kind of a scary thought when you follow it through.
I feel it is important to grow within my children a conviction so strong that they will die for others to preserve it.
Okay, I realize that sounds strong, so hear me out.
My family is Christian. We believe that love is the yardstick all things should be measured by. We believe in standing up for what’s right and refusing to give place to what is wrong. We believe in absolutes, and strong moral character. We believe in taking responsibility, and self-sacrifice. Hard work is strongly encouraged here, as is good-clean fun, and a constant attitude of learning. We encourage our children to overcome their fears and build each other up. Fair play is something we insist on, and cruelty is firmly discouraged. Yes, we believe in corporal punishment as part of the whole system of discipline we use, as well as other forms of negative reinforcement. We prefer rewarding good behavior, but we fully recognize the value of a good deterrent.
How do those beliefs translate in the real world? Honestly, they are contrary to the way our society plays things out. See, we’ve noticed that although the media plays up the whole live-for-yourself, bigger-is-better, ME-ME-ME thing, on a personal level people admire, love and appreciate others who show the characteristics mentioned above. We know that the true leaders, the truly fulfilled people are the ones who give it all for others. That’s what Christ did.
I think about God as Jesus’ Father in a relationship sense. We tend to raise it to a different level, but I’ve begun to understand that He really wants us to model ourselves after Him as Father as well. He loved His Son perfectly. As God, He had to. It’s His nature. Yet, He allowed, encouraged, and set up His Son as a sacrifice to save the world. Am I saying that I want to sacrifice my children to this hateful world? Not at all! They’re still young, vulnerable, tender, and have a lot to learn. Even God protected his Son as a baby, and His Son clearly needed adult guidance (the story of Him in the temple at 12 show us that). Jesus didn’t sacrifice Himself for the world until He was a mature adult, fully aware of the consequences of His actions. Some day, I will have to give my children to this society, a little sacrifice I am happy to give to make this world a better place. In the mean time, I will teach my kids that they serve every one else’s plates before their own, they give the bigger half of the cookie to the other, and they bite their tongues when their friends are mean. I will teach them that even though their friends might not know how to fold laundry, they will learn, and it’s an honor to fold their Dad’s socks. I will teach them endure being picked on and not fight back, all the time my own heart breaking for their sweet, precious feelings.
Why will I teach them this? Don’t I want the best for them?
Yes. But their futures depend on giving, not getting. The only things in this life that really matter are the things you give. That’s all that lasts.

You know, whether you realize it or not, you have goals all over the place.  Sometimes you just don’t realize it.  The key to realize or changing your goal is knowing what it is.  What do I mean by that?  Let’s take a look:

I’m sitting on the couch eating a bag of potato chips.  This is my regular evening habit.  I don’t just sit there for a half our and eat a handful of chips.  I sit there for two hours straight and eat the whole bag.  What is my goal?  To get fat and rot my brain.

Okay, I realize that sounds harsh, but it really is true.  If we have a goal that is unhealthy, we tend to ignore it.  Goals and consequences are the same thing.  It’s just that we should consciously choose our goals, and consequences happen regardless.  So, if I want to be thin and active, I won’t spend all that time in front of the boob tube eating junk.  I’ll spend more time exercising and eating healthy.  Are chips all bad?  Not entirely, I enjoy them on occasion, and TV is okay in moderation as well, but if I don’t control my intake, it will control me.  I don’t like the idea of being controlled by anything so petty and unhealthy.

We should try to have goals in every are of our lives.  It gives us something to work towards.  For my kids, I tell them all the time that I want to see them live a better, more disciplined life than I did growing up.  I don’t want them to struggle with the stuff I struggled with.  I want them to have opportunities I didn’t.  I don’t want them to be denied good things because I won’t try to help them get to them.  My goal is for my kids to be well-equipped in every way to handle life no matter how hard it is when they’ve grown.  In the meantime, my goal is that they do their daily tasks with a good attitude, and complete their obligations before going on to the “fun” stuff.  See how my short-term goals make the long-term goals more likely?  That should be how we do it.  With this in mind, we set our daily goals with an eye to eternity.  We ask ourselves this simple question: “If we do this today, what will be the impact on the future?”

Try it.  You’ll be surprised how much changes for you!

Blessings,

Jeny

Most people hate Mondays.  I love them.  It’s the time I get to put my “fresh start” into practice.  Sundays I think about what went wrong and what went right the week before.  Mondays I get to try again.

One thing I have to keep in mind is to strive for “better”, not “perfect”.  As a youngster, I had NO sense of discipline, and my family lifestyle was such that I didn’t invite anyone into my home.  I don’t want to be like that as an adult.  Neither should I have the expectation of impressing people with my amazing home and housekeeping.  We are, after all, a family of six and a chihuahua.    There is NO way it’s ever going to be completely perfect, so I may as well hang that idea up.  BUT – can I have a sense of tidiness?  Can we feel like people aren’t scared of dust bunnies and what’s under all that STUFF when people come to the house?  Yes, it’s possible.

I’ve discovered for me there is a sense of freedom in lists.  We have lists all over the house.  We have daily checklists, weekly checklists, and monthly checklists.  We have lists for studies, cleaning, and personal care.  I have calendars, ledgers, and charts for regular tasks.  Paper, paper everywhere!  I live with manila folders and crates with hanging folders for every purpose.  Trust me, if I didn’t have this stuff, I would be TOTALLY lost!

Now, let me jut say that the lists are sometimes ignored or forgotten, and on occasion tasks are neglected.  But, I promise you, these things are done more often now that the lists are in place.  I don’t get upset if the list hasn’t been looked at – I know we’ll miss it sometimes.  But, there is a sense of peace in knowing I have a system in place for those reminders that need to happen.  We just try to do better each week.  I can actually raise my expectations a little more each week, and the neat thing is that the little ones rise to the challenge.

The word for today -”Have you checked your lists?” 

Blessings,

Jeny

I love homeschooling the kids.  It can be a challenge – I have a part time job, several blogs, and an online business, but I try hard to use all my resources.  My two best resources – my husband and the computer.  I like the site Time4Learning.com as a core curriculum, and we add on to it and augment as needed.  Generally, we are happy with it, although we have found a few weak spots.

The best part of using an online program is that it relieves what is for the parent tedious repetition.  The little ones get the same information in several manners that are consistent and recognizable, and we don’t necessarily have to be doing all the interaction.  Does that mean I’m not involved?  Not at all.  I am constantly monitoring their progress, and I stop it and go over the information if I think they are having difficulty.  We also use a lot of notebooks and worksheets.  It cost a bit initially, but we bought a laser printer for just that reason.  As much as we make worksheets, it was getting VERY costly to keep getting ink.  Toner is MUCH cheaper, and it last a lot longer with mush less waste.

Anyhow, we have developed a system of division of labor that it equitable.  I supervise the online studies and tackle explaining the harder things, as well as researching and developing projects for social studies and science.  I also oversee their creative writing online.  My husband oversees the offline studies, including things like penmanship, applied mathematics and practical science (usually seen in cooking and shopping), as well as devotions from the Bible and character development.  The roles are not cut-and-dried, but they play to our strengths  We use our natural skills and talents for our children’s benefit so that they have the highest quality education we can give them.

Honestly, much of what we’ve learned has been by accident.  We’ve taken courses in parenting, studied about personality types and learning styles, and learned much from the receiving end about what works for who and what doesn’t.  Even with all that preparation, we have fallen flat several times, so as much as it is a teaching process, it is also a learning one.  God has seen our struggles and knows our hearts, and He knows we want to see our kids succeed in anything they decide to do in life.  That means learning how to fail as well.

What’s the overall message here?  Use ALL your resources, and don’t try to do it all yourself.  That is the path to burnout, and your kids deserve better.  Teach what you can teach well, and what you can’t, delegate it!

Blessings!

Jeny

PS: Wanted to share this with you.  If there is one thing I can get my kids excited about it’s FOOD!  These are great books!

If You Give Set: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, If You Take a Mouse to the Movies, If You Take a Mouse to School, If You Give a Moose a Muffin, and If You Give a Pig a Pancake (5-Book Set)

If you just want one of them, here they are:

If You Give a Cat a Cupcake (If You Give... Books)

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie (If You Give...)

If You Give a Pig a Pancake (If You Give...)

If You Give a Moose a Muffin (If You Give...)

If You Give a Pig a Party (If You Give...)